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Top 5 Things a Grown Woman Should Never Wear

You may already know about the biggie fashion sins like wearing suntan-colored pantyhose. But did you know that little girl fashions like pigtails and overalls look ridiculous on grown women? Of course, with every rule there are exceptions: Sarah Jessica Parker's Carrie Bradshaw on "Sex and the City" comes to mind as someone who breaks most of the following rules. But for most of us, there are a few guidelines to what looks good.

1) Overalls
Overalls belong on a farm. Period. They don't flatter anyone, and there are much better ways to look down-home sexy (a checked shirt tied at the midriff is a better start).

2) Pigtails
Plastic surgery, not pigtails, is the only way to go if you successfully want to shave 20 years off your face: pigtails on anyone well out of their teens just looks like a pathetic attempt at girlishness. A single ponytail, on the other hand, is considered almost universally flattering on women of all ages.

3) Knee socks
Oh, you can wear knee socks: just as long as you keep them out of sight under pants. Knee socks with miniskirts are adorable on teen girls and children, sad on real women. Instead, opt for sheer hosiery, opaque tights or fabulous (faux) tanned bare legs.

4) Tie Dye
Unless your child gives you a handmade tie-dye shirt, let the skaters and noveau hippies give this look a try. On the other hand, patchwork pieces -- bags, skirts, hats -- seem to always look adorably bohemian and crafty for anyone.

5) Rabbit Fur
If you must wear fur, please at least stick with a mammal that's not likely to wind up as the family pet. And nothing's more ridiculous than brightly colored rabbit fur. A better bet is something wonderful and faux.

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